24 November 2008

Holiday preparations.

There has been a pretty awesome and significant change of tone in our house lately. I don't know what exactly was the catalyst, but suddenly we're both out of the doldrums and we're happy and upbeat and back to our old selves. It's SO NICE.

We're both so looking forward to the holidays and hoping that things go well at the hearing on the 5th so that Leet doesn't have to do Christmas with the kids in a supervised setting. That's my wish, that's all I want for Christmas. I want Leet to have unsupervised visitation like he so very deserves. I want his kids to start getting used to coming to his home, to seeing him for more than a couple hours, I want them to have a safe place away from the crazy demands their mom places on them, a fun place where they get to play like kids should be allowed to play, where the get to use their toys and not be restricted from them just because the winds of her neuroses moved that way that day. I want them to get to be KIDS with their DAD.

We inventoried Christmas presents last night. We've been stock-piling for months. I am beyond excited for the Christmas we're able to provide for the kids. I was nervous that we wouldn't be able to give them a good Christmas, but OH the Christmas they're going to have. They're getting digital cameras, giant floor coloring books, games, movies, sticker books, walkie talkies, fancy pj's, play-doh...they're just getting some fun stuff. I have these giant dreams of a Christmas with them, of sitting around a tree and going present by present and helping them take pictures with their new cameras. I don't know if it's a Christmas that will happen yet, but it's one I'm hoping for, one I'm praying for, one I'm holding onto.

I like this feeling of Christmas being for them...I had no idea of the happiness it would bring me to think of giving them these things that will make them happy. It's a different happiness than planning something good for my mom or dad. We're the ones making the memories of Christmas that they'll look back on one day. That's something that I can seriously live with, something that makes all the other crap not even really matter that much.

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